Christmas 2009

“Where to Bury A Dog”

By Ben Hur Lampman

A subscriber of the Ontario Argus has written to the editor of that fine weekly, propounding a certain question, which, so far as we know, yet remains unanswered. The question is this ­­– ­“Where shall I bury my dog?” It is asked in advance of death.

The Oregonian trusts the Argus will not be offended if this newspaper undertakes an answer, for surely such a question merits a reply, since the man who asked it, on the evidence of his letter, loves the dog. It distresses him to think of his favorite as dishonored in death, mere carrion in the winter rains. Within that sloping, canine skull, he must reflect when the dog is dead, were thoughts that dignified the dog and honored the master. The hand of the master and of the friend stroked often in affection this rough, pathetic husk that was a dog.

We would say to the Ontario man that there are various places in which a dog may be buried. We are thinking now of a setter, whose coat was flame in the sunshine, and who, so far as we are aware, never entertained a mean or an unworthy thought. This setter is buried beneath a cherry tree, under four feet of garden loam, and at its proper season the cherry strews petals on the green lawn of his grave. Beneath a cherry tree, or an apple, or any flowering shrub of the garden, is an excellent place to bury a good dog.

Beneath such trees, such shrubs, he slept in the drowsy summer, or gnawed at a flavorous bone, or lifted head to challenge some strange intruder. These are good places, in life or in death. Yet it is a small matter, and it touches sentiment more than anything else. For if the dog be well remembered, if sometimes he leaps through your dreams actual as in life, eyes kindling, questing, asking, laughing, begging, it matters not at all where that dog sleeps at long and at last.

On a hill where the wind is unrebuked, and the trees are roaring, or beside a stream he knew in puppyhood, or somewhere in the flatness of a pasture land, where most exhilarating cattle graze. It is all one to the dog, and all one to you, and nothing is gained, and nothing lost -- if memory lives. But there is one best place to bury a dog. One place that is best of all.

If you bury him in this spot, the secret of which you must already have, he will come to you when you call -- come to you over the grim, dim frontiers of death, and down the well-remembered path, and to your side again. And though you call a dozen living dogs to heel they shall not growl at him, nor resent his coming, for he is yours and he belongs there. People may scoff at you, who see no lightest blade of grass bent by his footfall, who hear no whimper pitched too fine for mere audition, people who may never really have had a dog. Smile at them then, for you shall know something that is hidden from them, and which is well worth the knowing. The one best place to bury a good dog is in the heart of its master.

Goodbye Ari-Man

Don't be dismayed at good-byes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again.

And meeting again,

after moments or lifetimes,

is certain for those who are friends.

………..Richard Bach

Tomorrow

When you wake alone tomorrow and I’m not there with you,
Just think of all the GOOD times and THAT will get you thru.

You raised me from a PUP, you did, and it was SO much fun.
And you made SURE we always had the BEST time in the sun.

I LOVED my pool, my sandbox too, and Josie was a HOOT!
I thought she was the COOLEST friend and lots of FUN to boot!

We MOVED out to the country where I could RUN and run,
And I DISCOVERED birds and woods and had a TON of fun!

There were OTHERS living with us but you could NOT deny,
That ALWAYS and forever I was your SPECIAL guy!

We were a TEAM just you and I, and ALWAYS did our best.
We struggled YEARS to get it right so WE could pass the test.

Remember when we TRAVELED, to places NEAR and far,
And where we went we tried our BEST to ALWAYS raise the bar.

There were times we MISSED the mark & REALLY blew the game,
But THOSE times we knew for sure we had the MOST to gain.

There was a TIME my name was called, I thought I’d have to go,
But your love was oh, SO strong, I stopped and said “no, NO”.

You SAT by me and stroked my head and CRIED so many tears.
And it was THEN I knew for sure we had a few more years.

We had a few more things to do, a few more tests to take.
But SOON I knew the time had come to MAKE that final break.

I passed the torch to Brita, who GLADLY took the lead.
And so I TAUGHT her all I knew so SHE was up to speed.

I taught her all the GOOD things, like how to bite REAL hard
BUT along the way I taught her the SECRETS of the yard.

The TRAILS I made along the fence, the ONES behind the woods
The CRITTERS in the wood piles and a PLACE to hide the goods.

Then it got HARD to even walk and VERY painful too.
So it became apparent and you KNEW just what to do.

It WAS so hard, I KNOW it was, but something we both knew,
Was that DEEP down in our hearts, that, NO.. I've not left you.

No matter where you EVER go I'm ALWAYS by your side.
So keep your ears and eyes ALERT for NOW I am your guide.

So WHEN you rise tomorrow, don't THINK we're far apart,
For every TIME you think of me, I'm right THERE, in your heart.

Here is a test
to find whether your mission on earth is finished:

If you're alive, it isn't.
….Richard Bach

The rugs are gone….

….. I took them up.  They aren’t needed now.

It just got too much for Ari and when he collapsed 3 feet from where he sleeps last night and looked at me, I knew. He had hung on way longer than I thought he could and what a great end of summer and fall we had.  It really is hard to believe that three weeks ago he went along to training.  

This afternoon, Marilyn talked to him and confirmed what I thought.  Last night spirits came to help him cross but he wanted to be with me when he left so he hung on until this afternoon.  I know now why in the middle of the night Olivia and Kobie had disappeared from the living room and Joshua was thrashing in his cage. 

Great Lakes Vet Clinic now has a special room with couches and dog blankets where you can say goodbye in private.  It is very peaceful and calming.  I brought Ari home and will lay him to rest tomorrow next to Teddy in the spot I prepared for him.

Arsenal vom Keashaborn (Ari)
(April 21, 1999 – December 18, 2009)
CGC, Therapy Dog, BH, TR1, RN
PSA-TC, PSA-PDC, PSA-1 Novice

I think when someone’s pet dies we all can relate and memories return of a special friend that we may have lost.  The sheer number of EMAIL MESSAGES, posts on FACEBOOK and a MESSAGE BOARD, entries in the GUEST BOOK at critters.com and phone calls have humbled me.  Please also read what a very good friend wrote on her blog.  Thank you all for your compassion and caring at this special time of the year. 

~~~ Laurel

Epilogue (written 12/21/09)

I received so many emails and was answering them individually.  Then I realized that I needed to put it all together so I wouldn’t miss anything.  Ari’s health challenges this year started at the end of April.  I wrote the poem in May expecting to lose him then.  He was up and down… not very far up and very far down from then until mid August.  Those ups and downs are documented in posts in this journal…. in fact, that’s why I started it – to keep track.  There is a video of him barely able to stand and each time he was bad I gave him days. 

Then the upturn until about early December.  From then on, Ari went downhill really quickly.  My regular entries in his journal started Saturday the 5th...  before that they were sporadic.  I had an appointment for Monday the 22nd (today) for him to get his shot for his Addison’s and I was unsure whether he might need it before then so I picked the shot up in case I had to give it over the weekend.  This was Thursday...  ($63)  I assure you that I would not have gotten it if I knew how events would turn around.  So was I expecting it to happen as fast as it did….no.

Read this to see what I wrote on Friday morning before work  
http://arigsdjournal.blogspot.com/2009/12/he-couldnt-walk.html   

And read this post from when I got home.
http://arigsdjournal.blogspot.com/2009/12/rugs-are-gone.html

I wrote this to someone yesterday (12/20/09)....

I am very calm about it.  I shed SO many tears over Ari since May when I thought he was a goner that every day he was better was a blessing.  I never would have even hoped to have all the good days and times that we had since mid August until... honest to god... 3 weeks ago when I took him to training and he was doing bitework and trotting around with a sleeve in his mouth! Here it is documented on video. 
http://arigsdjournal.blogspot.com/2009/11/what-fun-ari-and-brita-had.html

Friday I had a class that was over at 1:00 and had an appointment for him at the vet at 3:30.  On the way to it I finally connected with Marilyn (my animal communicator friend) who I could tell was crying.  I asked her if she had time to contact him and her answer was “I just did”.  The conversation is on the site. http://arigsdjournal.blogspot.com/2009/12/marilyn-and-ari.html 

...so I get to the vet sobbing and call them from the parking lot to tell them I’m there.  When a room is ready, they came to the van to get me and take me straight in to an exam room.  When I say “yes” after an exam by the vet, “I've made the decision”; they take me to a quiet room with leather couches and dog blankets on the floor and let me there for as long as I wanted to be with Ari.  A sense of calm came over me and I was fine, as was Ari.  There were no more tears - just talking to him as he lay by my side. In about 20 min. the vet came in. I didn't cry.  It was so peaceful.  Ari passed in my arms just like he showed Marilyn he would.  It WAS his time.  He had given me 4 extra months I didn't think we'd have.  As I said, I wrote the poem in May because I thought it would happen then but it didn't. Now, he just couldn't give me more.  It actually felt "right". 

Dr. Jeff put Ari in the van and I went to Walgreens and got some dark chocolate (that felt right also) and bought the other dogs some large knuckle bones.  Then I went to Dairy Queen for a peanut butter cup blizzard  ...Ari would have approved!

Ari IS still with me and I'll be with him again.  As my beliefs changed over the years I know that he is simply changing form and he is still all around me.... he's just not in his worn out body that was keeping him from doing all that he wanted to do.  

Do I cry...of course... when I read some of the notes people write.  The outpouring of love has been amazing.  Not only did Ari touch many lives but his passing brings back memories to people of their experiences with the loss of their pets.  Ari wanted me to get on with things and that's what I'm doing.  He and I spent so much time together when he was here because he was my competition dog I trained and traveled with.  There is a special bond I have with him that I don't have with any of my other dogs that only comes from working really, really hard together at something and succeeding.  He truly was my teacher.  He taught me that I can do anything I want to do enough, even though others say it can't be done.  He taught me how to be resilient and to take setbacks as a learning experience.  He taught me that failing is ok and if you aren't out there doing it regardless of failure, it's never going to get done.  And he taught me to make it fun, no matter what. 

This has been an incredible dog year.  First Tori came back in to my life last fall and her saga ... raising the money for her health issues was so emotional and then placing her was gut wrenching.  Then losing Teddy a few months later in February was heartbreaking, he was such a great dog...  and then 2 months later, Ari's health issues started and I thought he was gone in May, then June, then July...  and then he improved.  I knew each day was a gift not to be taken for granted. As I said before, three weeks ago I took him to training with Brita and I and he got to play with the decoy and take the sleeve and run around the yard.  We marveled at the decent weather at the end of November and I knew THAT day would be the last session for Ari.  As soon as the weather got cold I saw a change in him.  He needed to wear a coat constantly to stay warm and life was no fun anymore not being able to go outside.  I believe that is why he went now and as fast as he did.  

He lived a good life and crossed when his body wore out... you can't ask for more.  He was a great dog and touched many lives and I will miss him desperately but know for sure we'll be together again.  I refuse to be sad because it is life and we couldn't have asked for more.

Arsenal vom Keashaborn (Ari)
(April 21, 1999 – December 18, 2009)
CGC, Therapy Dog, BH, TR1, RN PSA-TC, PSA-PDC, PSA-1 Novice

Marilyn and Ari….

I talked to Ari at about 3PM 12-18-2009

Immediately upon checking in with Ari I got the impression that it was hard work to move or keep his muscles going. Shoulders ache. Elbows ache – something systemic is coursing through his body (a systemic illness or disease). Pain in left knee. Everything feels old.

Ari: (proudly) I should not have been walking this whole time, but I did it. [Marilyn’s note: He says this as though he should not have been able to even walk or get on as well as he has these past months, but he is proud of his ability to override his body and still have a good quality of life. He shows me a picture of him just lying down and watching – watching everything that is going on around him. It’s very peaceful.  He likes to be able to just sit and observe.]

Ari: They came for me last night, but I told them to go. I wanted to say good-bye [to Laurel] and the time was not appropriate when they came so I sent them away. [Marilyn’s note: he shows me a beautiful array of spirits - so light and bright… a full entourage ready to escort him to the other side, but Ari was firm in his decision to stay until he could say good-bye to you in his own way. He did not want to ‘die in his sleep’ he wanted to be with you when he left.] You are a good mom!

[Now he shows me a picture of how he will cross, it is an image of his body lying and you at his head. The body is empty/hollow and very dead and his spirit rises out of it, a feeling of floating and total release – very peaceful, very zen. He calls this “Spirit Release”

Ari: It’s okay. You’ll [Laurel] be okay. It’s time for Brita now. You’ve taken good care of me and I of you.

[He tells me it’s not just his skeletal/muscular systems failing, but also his heart and organs.

Marilyn: Ari, did you tell her [Laurel] it was time.

Ari: Not yet.  I don’t want to go, but my body says otherwise. My body is making this decision for me, but we will see each other again.  I’m going to see Teddy and we have some work to do together.  There are others there that wait for me, too.  They have been waiting a long time, because I was supposed to have left this plane already.  And I could have left, too, if I wanted to.  But I did not want to and I am stronger than my body, or at least I was… for a while. I love my life. I love my love [Laurel], and I love my friends [other dogs and Joshua].

[He shows me a picture of a fire or a bonfire in your back yard]

{Back end and hips are not working, poop and pee is difficult to control/hold] He says: sorry about that.

He says: He wanted to be with you today when he goes, so he waited for you.  He loves you so, so very much. You are only separated by dimension, which is an illusion. In truth you are One and neither of you could love the other any more. You have his heart. You have done right by him and you have learned much from each other. Hold on to what you know and be You.

Marilyn Tokach
Training & Behavior Specialist
Pure Spirit ~ Animal Communication, Training & Behavior Solutions
www.Pure-Spirit.com
Direct: 952-226-2622
Scheduling: 952-226-2660 (Office Manager: Kimberly)
Proud Pets. Proud Pet Owners

He couldn’t walk…

…last night and collapsed about 3 feet from the crate in the bedroom that he was heading for.  It was like all his legs gave out…  This morning he made it outside and wobbled back to a crate he likes in the living room….  I wanted him to go out before I left and he couldn’t make it on his own…  I’m off to school now… it’s 8am and I’m worried about leaving him alone although he’ll probably sleep the whole time.

 
The strangest thing happened during the night.  Joshua (my parrot) was in a panic and thrashing in his cage. This hasn’t happened in a very long time so when he didn’t stop, I got up, went to him, talked for a bit and went back to bed.  The thrashing started again and again I went to him.  The 3rd time (now I’m pretty cranky) I found a really dark blanket to cover his cage and that put an end to it.  Olivia and Kobie were nowhere around.  They have access to the basement and outside so I assumed that’s where they were.   It seemed really bizarre.  

 

Comment – Read the post Marilyn and Ari for an update to this.

Winter….. oh no….

Two days of snow..  a teenage dog just wanted to have some fun!  16 inches of snow in the yard AND the first thing she is asked to do is to stand still and have Christmas decorations draped over her!!  The humiliation!  (stay tuned for a Christmas photo)

Retrieving the rope full of cup holders, however, made up for having to sit still and was a ton of fun!

 

 

Brita Training in the Basement!

Ups and Downs again for Ari…

Who knows what happened…  We talked with Marilyn yesterday and she asked if he was on medication..  no..  why?  He seems “loopy” she said.. in a good way.  Just kind of a goof enjoying himself.  It wasn’t unusual for him to have sort of a goofy look because he loved to play and be the center of things. 

Today when I got home from work, he was in the middle yard with Kobie and Olivia.  When I got in the house the girls were there but no Ari.  It was dark in the stairway and as soon as I turned the light on and called him, up the stairs he came.  I have believed for a long time that if there is no light ahead of him, he thinks there is nowhere to go.  It was dark ahead of him so he just stayed in the basement.  I’ve seen him stay outside until I turned a light on and he could see there was a dog door to go through.  And for a long time I’ve said if he went out at night I don’t think he could find his way back in the house. 

Then, a mouse trap went off in the kitchen.  We were in the living room and when it snapped and he got really nervous, came to me and hid behind me… obviously afraid.  This is NOT my Ari.  Later I found him in the bathroom which is where he used to hide when he was having seizures.  He looked very afraid….  

What fun Ari and Brita had!

It was yet another nice Saturday at the end of November and so we did some outdoor training! 

Brita has done suit work but hadn’t as yet with Terence.  This was the afternoon session and if you hang in there until the end (or just watch the end) you’ll see her getting swung around and hanging on!

And we brought the old man today!  Ari at 10 1/2 still was crazy for the sleeve and on the edge as usual.  Of course, me telling me to heel was a puzzle to him since he never learned how to heel…  ...now fuss he knows so when "I" figured it out he was a tad better.  However, since he retired he has had no obedience except “get off the bed Ari”… or “get your ball Ari”…  or “want your dinner”… oh wait..  that’s not obedience..  that’s a question!  What is the best about the way he looks today is the fact that, over the summer, he on a number of occasions was unable to walk due to seizures and a probable brain tumor.  If you saw those videos, you’d know how special these videos taken today are!  Every day he is here is a gift.

Update...  a month later December 18, 2009, he was gone. 

Swimming… What Month Is It???

Today Brita and I were in Neenah and it was 55 degrees and sunny.  Yep..  it’s November 24th!  A favorite place we have is Fresh Air Park in south Neenah.  It’s a very small park, the size of a large building lot in between homes on Lake Winnebago.  Even in good weather, we often would have it to ourselves.  So… off we go… I can’t remember when the water has been so clear..  you could actually see the stones in the water – and this IS Lake Winnebago! 
Camera in my left hand.  Tug in my right.  Toss tug.  Take pictures.  Do it again.  Some worked really well and some are gone!  At one point I did throw the tug a different direction so I would be facing the sun and I think there are a few good silhouette shots!  Fun time!

   

Miss Brita Workin' with Angie

So today I was talking pictures for Steinig Tal Police Academy and Angie asked me to take pictures of her doing obedience.  Sure...  Then she asked if she could borrow Brita!  Of course.  It's fun to see your own dog work with someone else! 

 

 

Happy 3rd Birthday Brita!!

It's become a custom now...  Birthdays are spent at Clever K9s so off we go!  Pictures were taken and reports were good.... she had fun playing with the other dogs!  On the way home we stopped at McDonalds for a cheeseburger and ice cream!  (we shared the ice cream!!)  

I had picked up a new retrieve item which was a unicorn on a stick... it didn't occur to me that the stick was plastic until the first time I said "hold" and she crunched it!  She did have fun retrieving it but was much happier playing with her ball on a rope even though for a bit it was stuck in a tree! 

Another birthday behind her!!  Tomorrow back to work!  (and we should all like our work as much as she does!!)

It was just this kind of day.....

It was supposed to rain today….

In preparation for rain, I decided to make the most of a sunny day yesterday and did outdoor work and hung out with the dogs. Today would be indoors. So… 10am….45 degrees and sunny. I’ll just do a little outside – perhaps get the outdoor bird area together so my goal of being able to feed them from the deck or through my living room window is a reality.

Done. Still sunny and now 50 degrees. More cleaning up and putting things away….lawn furniture, training equipment… just stuff. Dogs are lovin’ it.

Ari is not in pain (although he wobbles a bit) but he IS running around – sometimes bunny hopping, sometimes trotting, but nevertheless, having fun! Since August when he was down and could hardly walk he has gone up to the point of getting around just fine and, while there has been a slight change up and down in his rear end movement, someone other than an overprotective mom would probably not notice. So, for the last three months, I’ve made an effort to spend time with him knowing that this probably will be his last summer.
 
It started with the trails. He wasn’t able to keep them open by his running so I mowed them. Pretty cool… why not do more so, of course, I did….through the woods, (some mowed but after I almost rolled the mower thought better of that method for forging trails in the woods) and in the area behind the woods. All the dogs liked walking on them although sometimes Ari wasn’t able to make it far so we did short jaunts.

While in the woods I noticed the grapevines…. OH MY GOD!! They are KILLING my trees. And so the war started. It became an obsession but the dogs loved it! They just thought I was spending time with them! So the war continued… slowed down a bit by the attack of the BEES that took me to the emergency room and the poison ivy (who knew it was still there even though it looked dead). There were many dead trees and we had a really strong wind come through and five came down. I marked what I could and one day Jason and his father, armed with a sharp chain saw, spent a few hours just cutting down dead trees and cutting into smaller pieces the ones that were already down. My best guess is that I have a bit over an acre of woods but it sure seems like more sometimes. What a big help that was! But then he mentioned that all the trees with thorns should come down. Something to do I think with not being native and taking over….. fast forward…. today… ended the day with cutting a little grove of those buggers and stacking them. Came inside… 3:30.

Before I came in I was thinking of the last year. Tori had been returned to me in September (2008) from her calling of being a Psychiatric Service Dog.  She couldn’t handle it and shut down and I picked up a dog who had given up on life.  She emotionally adjusted but in November I was told that she needed surgery. The rescue had her on their website and there was no adopter in sight. And now with the surgery, they said that they couldn’t do more so basically, if I didn’t want to adopt her, she was to be put down.  I already had 5 dogs and she only got along with Ari so keeping her was not in my or her best interest and also I didn’t have the money for the surgery.  What an emotional time. So I wrote a letter asking for donations for her and they could go through the rescue.  Hopefully someone would step up and adopt her if the money issue were out of the way.  It hit the internet and donations came pouring in. In a few weeks, over $2000 was collected and, yes, someone did appear to take her, someone who had applied the day before she was removed from the website.  Ups and downs… She went to her new home Thanksgiving week. I saw her for a birthday party in January but that was the last time. It was too hard on both of us. Her story is documented here: Tori-Tori

A month later, I lost Teddy. What a great dog and how hard it was to let him go. He touched so many lives as a Therapy Dog and the dog that would come to school with me.  Read his story here.  Teddy Edward   ….I still grieve for him.

Then, in April, Ari started limping. Tests eliminated problems with his Addison’s, tick diseases and other diseases that blood tests would identify and the diagnosis was a probable brain tumor since he was having seizures. May through August… 3 times I gave him days. He would hit bottom, not be able to walk and then he would recover. In August, he stopped having the downturns and here we are today – November 18, 2009 …. Out in the yard enjoying the weather. Life is good right now….
 
Below is a slideshow from yesterday.  It is another school bus story and the sun is very low casting long shadows.  Ari, Olivia and Kobie were hanging out and then Ari heard the bus and ran to the front.  The bus kept going and then I heard it again…. Backing up… apparently the driver thought that the kids who get off weren’t on the bus!  Then after a boring stretch, it was on it’s way home so there was yet one more exciting event!  The color of Olivia’s coat is amazing.  The sun was directly on it and must have brought out the red! 

Brita on Her Red Truck

Brita loves playing in the yard.  It’s hard for me to walk through it without her heeling next to me.  I was carrying something recently and she was trying as best she could to be in correct position because she knows that doing it right brings fun play!

         

 

Brita is such a HOOT

So today it turned out to be a pretty nice day so I wanted to get some work done in the training area and took Brita out with me.  I literally cannot walk around the yard without her running over and starting to heel next to me.  I was carrying fence posts in my right hand and she is heeling on the left. 

Well, she is pretty persistent so I thought ok...  I can do some training (which I was going to do anyway) so I ran her little butt off.  It was pretty humid and she was breathing pretty hard so I stopped and told her to get in her pool which was FULL of water.  I did not expect her to lay down in it however!!!!  What great training for PSA!!

What a difference from the first summer and her introduction to water!  I guess Teddy was a good teacher!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Training with Terence

What a great time she had!!  When she got the sleeve and I said "take it home" (meaning back to the van), she ran in the other direction as if to say - "No, I'm not going...this is too much fun!"